The challenge, of course, is being in enough control to be able to hit your internal pause button. So here are a couple of tips to keep in mind:
- Don’t wait until you’re really steaming. When you feel your anger starting up,reach for the pause button.
- Try to figure out what’s angering you — is it the words, the attitude, or just because
- you don’t like this person?
- Take a deep breath — it really does help you calm yourself.
- Stay in moment; give yourself time settle/calm/reflect.
- Mentally stand back and try to figure out what’s happening. What is this person’s intent -- to inform, to correct, to vent, to get even?
- Avoid responding defensively; instead paraphrase what you’re hearing.
- Take the professional path. Choose how you want to express your anger — with intense emotion, or calmly explaining why you’re angry/hurt.
- Remember that emotions are contagious.